mid-year assessment: confessions from a creative rut
thoughts on content creation, plus, my five fave reads of 2024 (so far)
hi, lovelies!
oooof, june was a bit of a marathon for which I felt ill-prepared to race. but we made it through! and it’s now…JULY? before we jump into the back half of the year, I’d be hard-pressed not to reflect back on what a whirlwind these past six months have been. a quick scroll through my camera tells me that aside from living in and loving New York every minute I could get, since January, I’ve spent time in London, Lake Louise, Banff, Hudson Valley, Mexico City, Cabo, Paris, Stockholm (TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!), Copenhagen, Buffalo, Vienna, Lake Fuschl, Munich, and now, I’m back to Buffalo where I’m currently writing you from bed.
there’s been so much I haven’t shared from these trips and life in general, not because I didn’t want to, but because if I’m really, deeply honest, I’m feeling paralyzed about what to post and how to share my life authentically. perhaps it’s the mixed emotions that come along with an embarrassment of riches — much in part due to a job that involves projects all around the world — or perhaps it’s that when I do share, I feel like whatever I post doesn't properly encapsulate what I want to say or convey. it’s sort of this weird complex where I don’t want you to think I think I’m too cool for school when, in reality, I’m swimming in a sea of self-doubt, questioning nearly everything. so instead, I just say nothing at all opting to instead consume the lives of others and swirl in a comparison trap that we all know does no one any favors.
I didn’t use to be like this. there was a time when the internet was fun for me. I’d reshare silly memes, shout from the rooftops about my political beliefs, and post personal videos of my nearest and dearest. but lately, I’m frozen and can’t seem to get unstuck. in my heart of hearts, I love how being “online” provides us with a means to connect, build community (I’ve met some of my best friends and most powerful professional contacts through social networking), and create audiences that translate into real-world opportunities. and I desperately want to get back to a place of lightness where none of it has to be so serious and overanalyzed! most especially, I want to get back to a place of creativity with this newsletter which I’ve begun to overthink to the point of literally not being able to produce it the past couple of weeks…
all of this to say, I’m hoping that by writing about these frustrations and continuing to talk about my creative block with friends, I’ll pull myself out of it. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way or navigating these waters, so if you’ve managed to successfully get yourself out of a rut and back into flow, please do share HOW!! I love accountability when it comes to this sort of thing, so as I type this out, I’m realizing that the best way forward might be through. I’m recommitting to the cringe, and promise you’ll be seeing posts pop up more and more while I try to get back in the groove.
me and 85k+ friends in the airplane bathroom
one of the ways I’ve been trying to trick my brain into being more carefree about content creation is by using TikTok versus Instagram — that is, posting to an audience who doesn’t know me versus those who do. my recent TikTok (embedded below) detailing my overnight flight routine is creeping up on 100k views, and while many, many of the comments were negative (ha!), it was a reminder to just post the dang video. because really, who cares?
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my work trip that found me creating that very plane skincare routine video last week through Austria and Germany was an absolute dream and, at the same time, utterly exhausting. part of my job is to make these scouting trips look like nonstop fun and they are — though, what you don’t see is the overwhelm that comes with packed days beginning with 8a call times lasting through dinners lingering past midnight, lost luggage (fingers crossed my bag makes her way to Buffalo tomorrow…haven’t seen her since Friday at the Munich airport), my seeming inability to give my personal life an ounce of attention while away, and all the other stress that comes with the accumulation of to-dos while on the road. to be clear, I’m NOT complaining but rather offering the less filtered side of it all that’s difficult (and perhaps, unnecessary?) to convey on Instagram.
that said, I’m excited to actually read a page of a book, exercise, get eight hours of sleep, and cook my own meals this week. I made the most gorgeous frittata this morning, and it was a reminder of how grounding cooking is for me! it’s funny, people always ask, “do you even cook in New York?” and it makes me chuckle. OF COURSE, I COOK. not only would having a takeout/eating out every meal in the city bankrupt me, but the compounding effect of not having control over my nutrition makes me feel further and further from myself with each passing day between me and my last Wegmans haul. so, this week is going to be all about easing back into routine and the structure my Virgo brain loves so much.
what I’m also looking forward to this week is the fourth of July! I always take time off for the holiday, and this year is no different. I’ll be staying back in Buffalo and spending time in my hometown on Lake Ontario for true relaxation with friends and family. and perhaps most exciting, I’ve saved Elin Hilderbrand’s Swan Song for precisely this weekend. I can’t wait to sit down with it and a margarita very, very soon to prep for our July meeting of WVBC out in Montauk!
mid-year check-in
as I recalibrate, I’m also committing to putting pen to paper for a mid-year check-in. when searching for some prompts I use, luck would have it that my friend
just published the perfect list of questions to work off of. I’m including them below in the hope that you, too, can use them as a tool to assess where you’re at as we dive into July and beyond!in one word, sum up 2024 so far
what’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far this year?
what’s my proudest moment so far of 2024?
what’s working in my life?
what’s not working in my life?
what’s brought me joy this year?
what’s the best thing I’ve done for my overall wellness so far this year?
have I been embodying my word of the year? [if you chose one–mine was metamorphosis!]
am I on track with the goals or intentions I set at the beginning of the year?
are there new goals I’d like to set for the second half of the year?
what am I LOVING right now? (music, TV shows, hobbies, clothes…really anything!)
what do I wish I could tell my January self?
how do I want to feel at the end of 2024?
what’s one thing I want to accomplish by the end of the year?
books, books, books
a mid-year check-in wouldn’t be complete without checking on my reading goals! at twenty-six books finished so far in 2024, I’m falling a little short of my benchmark of thirty books at mid-year to hit my goal of sixty by the end of the year, but I feel confident I’ll be able to catch up. you can see the full list and star reviews of the books I’ve finished here, and if we’re not yet Goodreads friends, add me here so you can keep up with what I’m reading next!
my top five faves so far in 2024 include:
The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl
Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle
Bye, Baby by Carola Lovering
The Rachel Incident by Caroline O’Donoghue
The Age of Magical Overthinking by Amanda Montell
what reads have you loved so far this year? I’d love to know in the comments! in the words of
, “And why am I prompting you to comment? Because while I love DMs and always try to answer you there, my inbox is messy, and comments here are much easier for me to find and use as source material as I’m working on new things. Also, I love comments; they make me feel seen.” so please, COMMENT AWAY!! xKD
Can def relate to feeling frozen when it comes to posting